I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
