That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
