Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
