My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
