He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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