Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
