I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Shame - the story of my life.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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