Sponge bath it is.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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