Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
