i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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