No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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