Its about making memories worth repressing
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
