All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
this hospital has no fireball
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I need water and some morals
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
