There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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