People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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