I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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