It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
