I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
