It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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