if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
