please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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