Swine flu. Run for my life!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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