What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
