How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
