can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
