That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
So much Jack, so little girl.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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