Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
