Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
