Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
