haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
