I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
