check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
