I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
