you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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