hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Randomize
