All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
