You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Randomize
