yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
