Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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