hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
