I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
its not stalking. its research.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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