Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
