Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
