i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
