Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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