i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
