He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
