my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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