I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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