Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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