I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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