I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
